So I spent the last few months trying to figure out how to integrate motherhood and entrepreneurship.

I choose, when I became pregnant, to scale back on my consulting practice in order to continue to manage and facilitate my college access and career readiness program and still have time to be a hands-on mother.

It’s been two years and as I look at my schedule and listen to podcasts and read blogs to see how others do it, I am realizing that for me right now, the answer is in fact not integration but separation.

As many of my clients know, I like to go deep and immerse myself in the person or task. Until this week I had been splitting my day into paid work and hands-on mothering. Unfortunately, this wasn’t allowing me to go as deep in either. The moment of clarity came this week.

This past Monday, after a long weekend away at #beingbossmiami, I spent the whole day with my kid and at one point literally camped out in the playground for four hours. It was awesome.

Then Tuesday, I was with her in the morning, but in the back of my mind knew I had an important meeting at 2:30pm followed by an evening of facilitating a workshop. That morning felt hard. I had a little patience, felt like the hours dragged on and didn’t enjoy my time with her as much. And quite frankly I don’t think she enjoyed them as much either.

So, as Carrie Bradshaw would say, “ I got to thinking,” on the subway ride to my meeting later in the day. What was different? How can this feel easier?

Now this question is not just for folks with kids. It is also for those with full-time gigs and side hustles, for folks with multiple businesses or projects and anyone who is struggling with getting shit done and being present in the moment.

Knowing our kid was turning two in March my husband and I decided at the start of the year that we were ready to pay someone to help us with child care so that I could devote more time to paid work and honestly self-care and rest. Being a mom is hard work, being a working mom is hard work and things like hair cuts, budgeting, and planning etc were getting pushed aside. So I started splitting my days three days a week to work my biz and then come home and be with my kid.

Three months later. It’s not working. I tried to integrate but I need to separate.

I need to give myself room to get into the headspace of entrepreneurship and three hours in the morning is not enough. I need to separate the days of the week not try to integrate “office hours” into the a few hours each day.

So with my husband and our wonderful babysitter’s help we are going to run an experiment. I am going to give up three hours Monday AM and have him do more on Tuesday. I will then have all day Tuesday and Thursday so I can work. And then Wednesday AM when I have three hours to myself I am not going to try and work but rather devote to self-care and home care so I when I get back home to spend the day with my kid I am in that “home/family” headspace.

I will be tracking my effectiveness and how I feel (my most meaningful measure of effectiveness ) and let you know how it goes.

Xo
Nicole

Social responsibility can be in the form of a formal CSR (corporate social responsibility) department or can be imbedded into the DNA of a daily operations which I believe is actually more important than just having a formal program to tout around.

If no one gets involved then who cares?

In today’s culture we work a lot and while I don’t agree with this model (that is for another blog post) I think that while we are at work, we should be in an environment with people that share our values. You can look at the actions of the company as a reflection of the values of the people running it.

While the supreme court may have ruled that companies are people and can donate to political campaigns as such, I respectfully disagree. Companies are an entity run BY people.

Here are three questions you need to ask every new employer to gauge their level of social responsibility.

1. How do you define work life balance? If the person pauses, stumbles for words or my least favorite ­ laughs, this is a red flag to me. Why? Because it says something about how the company values it’s employees’ time and how that person (your potential new manager or the HR recruiter who is a representative of the company) views the company’s position of creating a place where people can do well both at work and at home. Do Good Working is defined not just about producing, but the manner in which company x produces its products and services (tweet that!). A company that does not engage in dialogues on work life balance is one that does not highly value you and is one I would be wary about working for if you know you want to do good work, but also have a life outside of work.

2. If I wanted to get involved in volunteering with the company who should I talk to? Where do I go? A company that creates opportunities for its employees to get involved in giving back through its brand knows that keeping employees happy and productive means creating ways, while at work, to do things besides work. When the person you are interviewing with doesn’t have an answer it makes me think this is not something they have done themselves, or supported direct reports within the past. This leads me to believe they don’t share the value and belief that organizations and companies need to be vehicles for giving back just as much as individuals do; and that by creating these opportunities, companies can actually build a more effective and efficient work force. We have enough research that supports this so anyone not doing this these days seems antiquated and old school.

3. What are the top three values of company X? A company that gives back has a list of core values or do good tenants either in a mission statement or manifesto. Yes, there may be some companies that put these up without ever intending to anything with them (see #2 to weed those out). But here I am talking about the company that publicly likes to tour themselves as one that values ___ and _____ and uses this language whenever possible to communicate and inspires workforce. If the person you are speaking to can’t repeat back to you the values it is likely because they are infrequently used by senior management and a such aren’t rooted in the DNA of the organization. Ultimately, if senior staff don’t get behind the values and speak to them and embody them through actions, all you are left with is great list written by an awesome copywriter hiding what is usually a disgruntled and low moraled staff.

Clearly there are exceptions to each rule but these are a great place to get started when researching or interviewing with a new company. Plus it gives you something to say when the interviewer asks the inevitable last question ­ “any questions for me?” And yes, you should alway shave three questions to ask.

Have something to say about this ­ leave a comment below or head over to the The Social (Good) Club the place to be for all things do good.

Want more do­goodies delivered to your inbox each week? Sign up today. As a member of our exclusive list, you can expect my weekly digest including:

● The Do­Good Word ­ simple ways to spend your money to spread the good each month

● Cause of Month highlighting great companies and organizations doing important work for the world……

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Get on the list!

Platforms like GlobalGiving are a great way to do this especially with their Project of the Month feature that allows you to tap into the expertise of the GlobalGiving staff who hand pick one project each month for your to donate to and allows you set a recurring donation in the amount of your choosing.

If you haven’t heard of GlobalGiving here you go: “GlobalGiving is a charity fundraising website that gives social entrepreneurs and non­profits from anywhere in the world a chance to raise the money that they need to improve their communities. Since 2002, GlobalGiving has raised $184,410,399 from 472,579 donors who have supported 12,497 projects”.

I spend alot of time online reading about solutions to pressing problems. My networks are filled with amazing people building schools, launching social enterprises and creating innovative ways to help the world ­ really inspiring s**t! If I could give to them all I would love to but like you I have bills to pay and have a set amount of money to give.

According to the National Center for Charitable Statistics (NCCS), more than 1.5 million nonprofit organizations are registered in the U.S. There is no way we can evaluate all of them enter platforms like GlobalGiving. A place to search and find ways to give. But wait it ­ it’s gotten even better with addition of Project of the Month which is perfect for many types of givers.

If you are a person who doesn’t have the means to make a big gift all at once but is interested in small recurring gifts, you can set the amount of your monthly giving in advance (and adjust as needed).

If you find yourself having a hard time narrowing down what to give to because you have so many passions and interests, you can set a recurring donation to keep the giving going while also learning about new do good efforts curated by a trusted source.

The best part ­ if you don’t feel connected to the featured project, GlobalGiving’s Guarantee means they will give you a gift card in the amount of our donation for you to give to another project or organization better suited to you. Not bad huh?

During my time working in the non profit sector and what I still hear from friends in the sector, one of the biggest challenges is dividing their time between doing the direct service work that supports the mission of the non profit and fundraising to support said programs that support the mission of the nonprofit ­ enter platforms like GlobalGiving.

I heard about GlobalGiving through my cousion Leo who founded Sitawi.net in Brazil. His social impact organization was selected to be permanent featured partner GlobalGiving which was a huge coup for the small organization because it allowed him to reach thousands of potential donors who trust the GlobalGiving team to select worthwhile, smart projects and organizations like his.

So what do you think?

Part of the reason I fell in love with my husband and wanted to marry him was that we shared many similar values including (but not limited to!) ­ supporting small business (he started his first business in college!), championing women in business and challenging gender norms. We met as children in progressive multicultural grade school where we developed a deep understanding and awareness of structural and racial inequity build into the systems that govern our society. In turn this instilled a deep passion in both of us to hold diversity as a core value. Lastly, sustainable, organic and local are always top of mind when consuming anything.

With these in mind and heart I got to researching. Here’s how we netted out ­

● An awesome female DJ!

● Catering from a husband and wife team who sourced local, organic food from nearby farms

● An african american husband and wife team for our wedding photographers

● Instead of flowers we had plants that the florist would then be planting in her garden after the event and reusing the vases and holders for future events

● Our final menu was decided a few days before the event based on what the caterers sourced from the farms

● We were able to buy our own alcohol and went to local breweries and vineyards

● Engagement ring was bought on Etsy from a husband and wife team using upcycled (reused) metals and gemstones (no blood diamonds here)

● Wedding rings were also bought from independent small jewelry designers

● We had family traveling from overseas and contracted with a local b&b owned by a woman who built the entire house herself ­ yeah bad ass!

● Where we could small items were compostable e.g, plant based straws for welcome iced tea

● Wedding was held at a b&b owned by a husband and wife team (notice a theme here? we love small businesses) and managed by a woman

Could there have been other ways to bring more values to life, I am certain of it. At my wedding and in our lives we can always do more but we need not focus on what we didn’t do and instead focus on what we accomplished and set goals to do more next time.

Here at Do Good Living we want to stress and celebrate our intentions and efforts. The first part of creating change is a mindset shift ­ that is our intention, then working that intention by putting effort behind it. Living a do good life sometimes will mean paying more, for example, sometimes the manufacturing of non toxic products is pricier than that which does harm to our planet or those producing it. There is a price to be paid either way but sometimes you can’t afford it and while I am not happy about saying it ­ that is ok. Try to consistently work where you can.

Three years later when I think back to that time and the effort we made early on I can feel really good about it. Even more exciting was being able to share my intentions with others and hopefully inspire them through my words and actions.

So how about it? Is there an event you are planning that could use so do­gooding?

Want help figuring out? Join my free community The Social (Good) Club for free monthly coaching and my monthly “Conscious Consumption List,” for products and businesses that you can feel good purchasing from.

in goodness,

Nicole

Wouldn’t it be great if someone did all the work for you so that you only had to click a link and hit donate and BOOM, you are giving back to an organization doing innovative work on behalf on a worthy cause?!

Yeah, I thought so. Here it is!

This post is a first in a series where I will highlight my Cause of the Month ­ letting you know about a serious issue affecting the world and an innovative solution to solve it.

The revolution will not be televised, but it will be funded. Sometimes it costs money to do good. That is why I believe it is important that we include as part of any Do­Good life, investing AND donating to organizations working in our issue areas (not sure what your issue area is check out my post on fine tuning your causes). There are many very worthwhile nonprofits to donate to and social good companies that need your financial support to continue their good efforts. In fact, it can sometimes feel like there are too many to choose from. Good news ­ each month I will spotlight one such place to help you navigate the goodness!

I think it is particularly important to fund innovative efforts that look to disrupt same old patterns of “help” that follow the traditional philanthropic models that we have seen sometimes do more harm than good. Which is why I am thrilled bring you this month’s feature is S.H.E. ­ Sustainable Health Resources.

Sustainable Health Enterprises (S.H.E.) is a great example of such a company that I think you need to support today.

I heard Elizabeth Scharpf the founder and Chief Instigator at S.H.E. speak in 2009 at a conference on Social Innovation I was volunteering with. She had just founded S.H.E. to solve a serious issue affecting young girls in Rwanda.

The idea is simple ­ too many girls miss school each month because of their periods or rather lack of sanitary pads that would allow them to attend school. Instead they have to wait till they stop bleeding to go back to school.

Imagine missing 4 ­ 6 days of school each month, every month, for your whole life because of your period?! Unacceptable.

Why I think S.H.E. is even more brilliant and needs your financial support, is that it created a solution that is both environmentally friendly ­ using banana leaves that are compostable to create pads for the girls to use, and economically smart ­ helping local women jumpstart social business to manufacture and distribute these affordable and eco menstrual pads.

Of course any solution is not enough if it is not adopted and S.H.E.’s staff (most of whom are local) do their part to remove the stigma from discussing periods and create educate about the benefit of using pads during menstruation.

I think this is a worthwhile cause to donate to. Period. Nothing more. Make your donation today.

If you want more goodness in your life join The Social Good Club ­ the place to be create a life worth living.

Damn, that’s good.

xo

Nicole

I’ve rounded up a list of five do good companies you should know about to help you spend your money wisely, “shopping your values” so you can feel good about giving back while getting your shop-on!

With the holidays coming up soon and the spending season upon us, wouldn’t it be nice to know your dollars were being spent wisely?

Thought so.

eco.love.

Category: Wine

I am half Chilean which for those of you that don’t know – we dig wine. Alot. It’s part of the culture. And as much as I love wine, I also love supporting women owned business and people of color owned business. eco-love combines all things I love.  “A company that is as much about respecting the environment and great tasting sustainable wines, as it is about living life and having a great time.”

These two sister came together over a shared passion and created a company to share that passion with the world, “We believe that everybody can be innovative and creative in their own way, eco.love Wines is our way.”

They are also disrupting the male dominated norm of winemakers = men. For this I love this brand and am currently on the waiting list for their next vintage.

Check them out here.

Eileen Fisher.

Category: Women’s apparel.

Eileen Fisher has been a leader in promoting corporate social responsibility not as a separate division of its company but part of a brand’s DNA called Social Consciousness since 1997, well before many other big name designers jumped on board. They work on a multi-pronged approach to “giving back” in their supply chain and factories focusing on human rights, water usage (a big issue in manufacturing), renewable energy, reusing and recycling textile waste. In addition they support women in business through their grants program.

Most recently they have a launched an effort to become 100% sustainable by 2020 that I love.

Learn more here.

The Grommet.

Category: EVERYTHING! (well almost

The Grommet is an e-commerce site build around concept of Citizen Commerce which they define as, “using our collective power to buy products from companies that reflect our values. It can shape the world we want to live in. We vote with our dollars and we have the chance to do something really big. Buy differently.”  

There are many reasons to love The Grommet including:

1. They were co-founded by two women.
2. They feature smart, products that make life easier and many of them are sustainably focused and created by underrepresented entrepreneurs which matters to me, alot.
3. But in case you care about other things more, they have created a way to customize do good shopping by allowing each of us to shop our values. Maybe women owned doesn’t matter to you, no problem. Perhaps Made in USA is more important or perhaps compostable is key. With The Grommet you design a shopping experience that works for you.

Learn more here

Kitchen Works

Category: kitchen appliances

Kitchen works is part of the sharing economy model that is championed by Airbnb and Uber. “It’s just like a regular library but instead of borrowing books you can check out any number of kitchen appliances for 7 days!”

If you follow the blog you know one of this things I champion is consuming less. A lot of what ends up in our landfills are items we no longer need or use and often were bought on a whim (yah I’m talking to you big juicer taking up half the counter top)!

Listen, I like stuff, don’t get me wrong and we actually do need some of our  stuff. But wouldn’t it be nice to know we are going to use the stuff before we insert a lot of cash and bring it home?  Maybe then you can use those dollars not wasted on stuff you don’t use to donate to a worthy cause or invest in a woman owned business?

While currently in Canada they do feature a How to Create Your Own Kitchen Library to bring this novel idea close to you so when you decide you need to bake that triple layer, ombre cake never to use the trays again (I was pregnant what can I say) you have another option!

Check them out here.

SustyParty

I was in attendance at one of SustyParty’s first big event sponsorship back in 2009 – a conference of social innovation where they provided the compostable (EVERYTHING!) for lunch and break time snacks and loved the cool look of the products and the fact that they were compostable. Stylish and responsible – check!

Two years later when I was running my own women’s center in NYC hosting events every week, I was excited to see their online order system up and running so I could order their products to help make cleanup easy (no dishing washing) without the guilt of knowing each week I would be throwing away a mass of paper and plastic goods headed straight for my local landfill where they would sit for the next 5,000 years.

SustyParty is a b-corp enterprise, meaning they meet rigorous, independent standards of social and environmental performance.  Their products are non toxic, renewable and compostable, and are responsibly made in partnership with nonprofit factories who employ and empower the visually impaired community here in the USA.  And the cherry on top, SustyParty was founded by two women (one of whom is a person of color!)

I have been told by some folks, “geez they are more expensive than the other ‘big name brand’ that now has eco plates. Perhaps, but I feel good knowing I’m supporting a small business owned by women that helps employ the blind. Seems like a no brainer to me.

Check them out here.

If you liked the companies featured and want to more place to shop your values join The Social (Good) Club, my free online community with the singular mission is to provide YOU with all of the simplest, most powerful information on social initiatives and significant causes so YOU can give back in the way that feels best to you!

Stick with us and together we’ll spread the good around.

Join for free.

xo

Nicole

So there we were about to have a baby. Do we really want to add more crap to our plate to think about?

Not only were we still in our day-to-day of having fun, work, and chores, etc., but now we also were starting to do our baby planning.

Where was the baby going to sleep? With us or a crib? Would we need a baby monitor? What kind? Where we going to put all the hand-me-downs the baby was getting from friends and family?

In addition to basking in the happiness that usually accompanies welcoming a little one, we were starting to feel super overwhelmed with all the baby products and the associated identity questions that came along.

Were we plastic bottle or glass bottle parents? Organic cotton or it doesn’t matter? Crib or co-sleepers? Baby wearers or stroller only? Not to mention the whole breastfeeding and pumping situation… 

Okay… so in short we thought let’s pick and choose where we do our part rather than add to the overwhelmingness that is being a new parent. In other words, let’s do what we can to be Do Good Living parents, and be compassionate that we can only do the best, and it doesn’t help to be judgmental to oneself or others about environmental friendliness of your parenting decisions.

We chose to focus on our choice of diapers. 

Now… the debate rages on whether disposables are any worse than cloth – see here, here, and here among hundreds of talks and articles on the subject.

Personally, I believe that intention is sometimes the most important. If can’t do cloth, maybe you can do environmental friendly disposables? No, then maybe other parts of your life are easier to make environmental friendly? Or maybe you’re doing your part on fair trade or supporting local businesses.

Being in New York, we thought it would be best to go with DiaperKind, a cloth diapering service owned by women in Brooklyn. It met our criteria for supporting local female entrepreneurs that were part of an environmentally friendly business model.

The service cleans your cloth diapers for you. Every week we put our dirty diapers out and they get picked up and fresh clean ones are dropped off. The rotation of diapers continues each week. Being in an apartment building with a shared washer/dryer, this was more feasible for us than attempting to clean on our own. In addition, when we travel we use Naty diapers, which are awesome.

The service and our cloth diapers aren’t some badge of honor for being green parents, nor does it mean we are any more environmentally friendly than other parents. It just means that this is one of many things we and others are exploring as we stay mindful and set the intention to do our part to engage in Do Good Living. 

I remember when I got my Amazon prime membership.

Something about that free shipping unleashed my inner voracious consumer. All of a sudden buying shoelaces, a pair of headphones, or new guitar strings led me to Amazon to first check out reviews, and eventually to a purchase.

Two things began to come to mind. 

First – isn’t Amazon the bad guy? Aren’t they a classic example of a mega corporation having deep implications on local businesses that have larger repercussions on labor, community responsibility, and local entrepreneurship?

Second – isn’t a reliance on having everything shipped not just keeping folks away from local retail, but also potentially contributing to a reliance on countless boxes being moved around in trucks and other transport?

In short, I’m a firm believer that life is all about balance and continuous change.

Maybe folks that just had a baby need the flexibility of Amazon. Maybe some folks buy all their furniture local, but rely on Amazon for household goods because of the deep discounts.

Like anything, sometimes being aware, compassionate to your own needs, and setting the intention to make parts of your life socially responsible is as much as we can do. That’s okay.

So….. with all of that said. If you still shop at Amazon, try Amazon Smile.

It was released in late 2013, but I find that a lot of folks still don’t know about it or make an effort to use it.

Basically you can setup a charity to contribute to, and on any purchase made through Amazon Smile, Amazon donates 0.5% of the purchase price. It’s not much, but it adds up – especially on the scale Amazon works on.

So here’s how to set it up:

1. Go to http://smile.amazon.com/

2. If you already have an account, you can still use Amazon Smile. It basically just lets you setup the charity you want to donate to.

3. Make purchases through Amazon Smile and not “regular” Amazon. I do this by putting a bookmark on my browser, and using that button when I want to make a purchase. Not all products are eligible, but hey… it’s better than nothing.

While not everyone is a fan of Amazon, and some may see Amazon Smile as just another CSR gimmick, sometimes the impact of even gimmicks can be real and meaningful, albeit on a smaller scale than one would like. From the Amazon Press Release in 2013, here’s what then CEO of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital has to say…

“AmazonSmile allows us to reach millions of existing and new supporters who can help us find cures for cancer and save children. At St. Jude, we’re leading the way the world understands, treats and defeats childhood cancer while ensuring no family ever receives a bill from St. Jude for treatment, travel, housing or food. Working with AmazonSmile gives us a new way to support our mission that’s simple for both us and our supporters.”

Yeah, I know you know what it looks like to do good…don’t you?….

The world has a lot of problems and you want to be a part of the solution, but you also need to pay rent, eat and well, you want to have fun, look good and enjoy life. So you try as best you can when you can, because you actually give a s**t .

You give (time, money, praise, investments etc) , but your efforts don’t feel like they match how much you care. Maybe you:

• Recycle – check
• Write a check to a charity 1x a year – check
• Sponsor a kid – check
• Etc, Etc.

…but you would like to give more…

But here is the truth…. YOU ARE BUSY busy…busy running your business, your life, the house (need I go on?!)

Do you ever find yourself?

• Continuously writing a check to a random charity because a dear friend asked you and you want to support her but are ehh about the charity?
• Hiding from those sweet but sometimes annoying undergrads from your alma mater calling to ask you for money (while your still paying off your student loan!!).
• Shredding those annoying (and paper wasting!) mailers that clog your inbox.
• Liking FB pages cause it’s fast (but your not sure how helpful it actually is)

Sounds like you could use a quick but soulful solution to provide direction and focus for your do good intentions.
It’s time for a Do Good Makeover.

Ready to?

• Create quiet space to more deeply connect with the good you wish to do with your life?
• Stop giving to random causes and allow your passions to guide your giving?
• Boldly claim your issue area/cause(s) to focus on in 2015 (and nothing else and not feel bad about that!)
• Streamline your giving efforts to maximize your impact in these areas?
• Align your spending on the things you love + need so that they support the causes you care most about?

Live Your Values A Six Week Course in Giving
Soulful + strategic giving for a fabulous do good life.